I LOVE MY BOYS!!!
The reason for this is because I have not posted on here for almost a year. Alot of things have changed so I decided a new journal for a new era!!!!!
So every one add me there!
hope to see ya!
THINGS I WANT RIGHT NOW:
A home for Brandon, Cole, and myself.
A wedding. preferably mine.
A better car.
A car for Brandon.
A new cell phone.
A job to pay for it all.
The courage to tell my family I don't want to go back to school right away.
Cole is getting so big! He is starting to giggle and eat ceral. He is amazingly adorable!
He is asleep right now...so cute. I love both my boys so much. Brandon is amazing with the baby. Cole couldn't have a better daddy. and I couldn't have a better boyfriend. They are my strength my love my moon and my stars. I couldn't survive without them.
Ok so Saturday was the TooL concert. Brandon and I had quite a day. His mom watched Cole for us.
We started out running to Brandon's friend's house to get directions to the Big Sandy Superstore Arena that he printed out for us. (this was a husge help)We then went to dad's carlot to get a different car because we were scared mine wouldn't make it to Huntington. I think I am going to keep it. It is not as nice as my other one. It is an 4door caviler. well three door really. back drivers side door doesnt open from the outside or inside. Then we were on our way to Charlston. Our tickets never came in the mail like they were sopose to, and Brandon's step-mom said she made arrangements for us to pick them up at Ticketmaster. On the way Brandon was telling me he knew where we were going and he could get me there. Then after going 2miles up the wrong road and about 15miniutes of me yelling "call them and ask where they are located" (what is with guys and asking for directions) He then calls Andrew and asked him. After we get to ticketmaster is where the fun really starts. We get there and the front doors are locked. So we just go through the door that says "employees only" and ask a security gaurd if he would please find someone for us to talk to. So this boy comes in and informs us that you do not pick up tickets at ticketmaster. We explain our situation and he takes our cofromation number and goes to a computer. When he comes back he tells us that we would have to order replacement tickets. I told he we already did and thats what we are supose to be getting. He tells me that something must be wrong and I should call them to reorder replacement tickets and then pick them up at the box office at the arena. Thats all fine and dandy except "I am standing right in front of you why do I have to go all the way to my car to get my phone and call you when I am looking at you right now" "I understand that mam but you have to call" "I am looking at you. why don't you just go to the computer and order them for me now, you are holding all of our information" "I understand that mam but you have to call..." "I have to go outside and call inside to the place I am now" "yes mam" "ok whatever thank you good bye" and I walk off very annoyed and Brandon is still sitting there talking to the guy. Anyways we get to the car and call ticketmaster from there parking lot and thinkfully got a different person, she punches in our comformation number and tells us that they have all ready been orderd and the arena should have them now. Then what the fuck did I just do all that for, I have no idea!!!
I had a doctor's visit on tuesday May 15th. I was 40weeks and 1day pregnant. The doctor decided to strip my membranes, which was not a pleasent experience. On the way home my back started to hurt really bad. I decided it was because of the car seat. Well my mom tells me about how she had back labor with me and it got us to thinking. So two hours after being home I am on the phone with triage. I live about 30-40 miniutes from my hospitial so they decided I should come in to see what is going on. So I hate triage by the way. I'm scared, anxous, and in pain and they wouldn't let anyone come back there with me. Not even Brandon. So during the 25miniutes I am in triage I am checked three times. The doctor asked if a medical student could check me and I said yes. (dumb me, I thought I was trying to help him) He decided I was only maybe 2cm when at the doctors just hours ago I was 4! So when I bring this to his attention a doctor checks me and I am now 4.5cm. Then he wants the medical student to know what 4.5cm feels like so I am checked again. By this time I am bleeding pretty bad. Well the .5cm change in under 4hours meant that I was there to stay. They finally let Brandon back and took us to my Labor and Delivery room. This is where the pain got really bad. I had made up my mind that an epi could wait until I thought it was absolutly time.
Everytime I had a contraction I would raise up to a sitting position and bend my head almost to my knees, sending the nurses into the room bacause they had lost the baby on the moniters when I moved. They kept telling me I had to lay flat on my back to keep the baby on the moniters....I basically flat out told them no, because I had to raise up and let Brandon rub my back during a contration or I thought I was going to die. Back labor is not fun. I had no pain in my belly at all. When the doctors told me I went from 4.5cm, 75% effaced to 6.5cm and 90% efface in almost 3hours we all thought it best to get my epi and break my water. Epidurals are beautiful! After that things calmed down for all of 20miniutes when the doctors and nurses all ran over to me all of a sudden and jerked me on my side and told me to breath deep and slow. The baby's heartbeat had dropped really low and he was stressing. The Doctor told me I could start to push, so I tried, but I was to numb I couldn't feel what I was doing. I was placed in an upright position to get the baby to come down a little farther naturally while we waited for my epidural to wear off a little. Finally I had this screaming urge to push and RIGHT NOW!!! So I called for the nurse and her and the doctors came in. I pushed three times and was rolled on my side for a few miniutes, then I pushed three more times and was rolled on my side. They keep telling my to breath slow and deep to get air to the baby. But how could I stay calm when we couldn't figure out why this was taking so long and why his heart rate was sooo low. Finally with one big push the doctor discovered, "this isn't a head, it's a shoulder" My little boy had wiggled himself around in the birth canal and turned his head the wrong way. The doctor in one big strong move went in and turned him. I pushed for 10-15 more miniutes and at 3:39am on May 16, 2007 there he was, so perfect. 8lbs 9oz 20.5 in. long....and the longest cone head ever from lying in the birth canal so long while we waited for my epidural to wear off.
This was the most amazing experience of my life. I didn't think I was capable of doing something so beautiful. All I could say after was "wow....oh my God....that was amazing...I can't believe I just did that..."
Amazing is seriously the only word I can think to discribe it....
I have another ob appoitment tomorrow at 2:10pm....I am so tired of that place. They are so slow, I have to wait hours sometimes to even get back there to see dr. thorne. Then all she does is check heartbeat and ask me how I am feeling and I leave. Its really annoying.
I will be 38weeks tomorrow. I haven't felt any contractions yet, not even Braxton Hicks ones. I don't think I have started to lose my mucus plug yet either. This may take a while. But as much as I want him here now I am grateful for the easy pregnancy and for him taking his time. Some things just aren't ready yet. The nursury looks like a stock room right now and none of the furniture is put together. My glider chair someone got me is still at Dad's car lot. I haven't even begun to wash any of the baby clothes I have and right now they are all just stuffed is a dresser and in boxes and some are still in gift bags from the baby shower. I really need to get on the ball and get things moving. I guess that some part of me was just hoping I wouldn't still be at dads. But here I am. I feel stuck. I hate having to relay on them for everything I need. I am supose to be an adult and a mom and I have to ask my dad for $20 just to put in my gas tank.
I don't know how to tell him I don't want to go to school next semester. I mean, Cole will only be like 3months old by then. Its not that I wouldn't want to leave him with my mom or Dani or anything. But I think that my time would be better spent at a job, making money. Brandon can only do so much and I don't want to be going to school while he has to work. When I know that he would rather be in school too. That just doesn't seem fair. We are in this together so we both need to make sacrifices. Maybe we can finish school later. But my dad will never see it that way. He means well he really does.
My dad is the best.
I got a phone call the other night, this lady informed me that if I do not pay like $1100 to the collage right now over the phone I was going to be taken to court and it would be taken outta my funds and or assests that I may have. WHAT? I was freaking out. I informed the lady that I had applied for FAFSA (finacial aid) and that it should all be taken care of. She then told me that I had a D in one of my classes that I need to compleate my major and that is considered failing and when you fail a class FAFSA takes all there money away!!! WTF! So my dad just took out his checkbook and it was all taken care of and forgotten about by the next day. Dad was kinda mad but really only that I had gotten a D and that was the only reason it cost him money. I felt so bad that I never want to ask him for another penny agian. I mean how can I just ask him for money for whatever when he just took care of all that for me....
and my cell phone bill is due.....
Oh gosh the other day my dogs caught a little field mouse and they were playing with him on the patio. When I walk outside to leave I see the thing lying in the driveway and I assumed it was dead. As I got closer to it ( i had to walk passed it to get to my car) it started to try to stand up and making this horrible noise like a cat hissing or something. The poor little thing looked horrible. I wanted to put it out of its missery but I couldn't figure out how I should off the little guy. I didn't want to do anything messy and I wasn't about ready to touch it! So I just left and went to Brandon's for a few hours. When I got back low and behold there was micky limping its way across the driveway still. (it had made it about ten feet) I just left it alone this time but I couldn't believe it was still alive!!!! The dogs finally gained some intrest back in playing with the creature and eventually carried it off. But I just really thought it was kinda sad. poor little mousey!
My little sister and I counted some change that my dad had sitting around this mourning. there was $105.90 in change. not counting the pennys that we just put back and they filled up a whole tin by themselves. Thats a lot of money to have sitting around in quarters dimes and nickles!!!
Well that was just a few things I thought I would share with you.
I LOVE BRANDON!! AND BRANDON COLE!!!
1- Tell you why I friended you.
2 - Associate you with something. A fandom, a song, a color, a piece of fruit. SOMETHING.
3 - Tell you something I like about you.
4 - Tell you a memory I have of you.
5 - Associate you with a character/pairing.
6 - Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7 - Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
8 - In retort, you must spread this disease in your LJ.
I am excited to be having a baby! and it is getting so close to time for him! I can't wait!!!!!
BRANDON GOT A JOB AT SUBWAY!!!!!!! yea baby!
well I think that is all for know!
i'll write agian soon....
I love Brandon
The plant never called Brandon. I wish they would have, we really needed that. but there are other jobs out there. I just wish we could be a family already. I love him so much and I know he wants the same things that I do. I wish his mom would at least try to help out. She has to be there when he goes to get his learners permit, cause the DMV needs a utility bill as proof of residency. Brandon doesnt get any bills in his name at his moms so she has to be there to say "i'm his mom he lives with me..." yadda yadda yadda.... but noooo she won't even do that for us, so he cant get his liscense. That woman really makes me mad sometimes. Brandon's step dad is supose to take him out to put in applications this week, he just recently became unemployed himself so he is using this to motivate Brandon and make him get a job. Thank God some one is smart. Maybe he will take Brandon to the DMV.
I had another OB appoitment monday. Everything is good. my glucose screen came back normal. I have another appoitment in two weeks on the 26th. and an ultrasound and fetal echo on the 27th. I cant' wait until the u/s!!!! can't wait to see my baby agian!!!!! They say I need to drink more water and I have gained a total of 20lbs since the beginning. i feel kinda ok about that. its alot i think but not too much. I just cringe at the thought of trying to lose it after the baby is born.
I think the only nessecties I need still are the crib and changing table, which i get this week. and stuff like dipers and things. I don't need any more baby clothes. I have a big dresser full and more at moms and more still at brandons. please no more baby clothes. Dads friend gave me TONS! and they all looked brand new and were like old navey and baby gab and tommy and ralph luren. I love them all!!!!
well i think that is about all that is new with me.....
I LOVE BRANDON....WE CAN'T WAIT FOR BABY BRANDON COLE!!!!
- Watch out I'm: cheerful
Brandon is still waiting to hear back from the plant. fingers still crossed! We really need this. With the pay we could almost immeadiatly find us a place to rent and get all the baby stuff we need. And it would be no time before we would have the money saved to buy us a place. we need this sooo bad. I hate having to live with my dad and him with his mom. we need to be together. we need to be a family. please please please please let the plant call soon!!
In the meantime, this room is going to be to small for all the baby stuff my dad wants to buy me. There will be no room for my computer or anything like that. its a pretty small room that I will have to share with the baby. other rooms in the house are sooo much bigger. Dad is going to try to con one of my sisters into trading. yea we will see how that goes.
I am now in my third trimester. Where has all the time gone? it seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant.
nothing much is really going on. I have been stuck in the house for days at a time over the past few weeks because of all the snow. only being able to get off the hill like once before it snows and freezes agian. thats the only thing I hate about living out in the middle of nowhere. I'm stuck home alone all the time. by the time I wake up my dad and step mom have taken there four wheel drives and gone to work.
thats about all right now. I lead a boring life at the time...
I LOVE BRANDON!!
- I can be found:in my room
- Watch out I'm: bored